歌词：Bo Burnham. New Math.

So here's a song that takes something that's not so fun, math, and makes it offensive.

What's a pirate minus the ship? Just a creative homeless guy,
And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die
And what's domain, domain, range (xxy) a kid with too much in his pants
And two balls minus one, six titles at the Tour de France.

Split a decision with long division,
Take the circumference of your circumcision
Live like your data and when you're all "set"
Put it all together and whatever you get.

Is new math...

What's a bag of chips divided by five, that's a Nike worker's meal
And Santa clause multiplied by "I" well I guess that makes him real,
And the square root of the NBA is Africa in a box,
How do you trace a scatter plot? Give the pencil to Michael j fox.

Take the approximate moral proportion of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion
Live like your data, and when you're all "set"
Put it all together and whatever you get...

Is new math.

And if you made a factor tree of the factors that caused my girl to leave me you'd have a tree...
Full of Asian porn.
C-A-L-SEE-YOU-LATOR mathematical minds make industrial smog.
And what's the opposite of LN(X)[in other words a natural logarithm, duraflame the unnatural log.


Support the farmers with a pro-tractor,
Link Kennedy and Lincoln with a common factor
Live like your data, and when you're all "set"
Put it all together and whatever you get...

Yeah it's new, it's new, it's new, it's new,
It's new math.

Word problems

If there's a fat guy in a pastry shop with a twenty dollar bill and he's ready to buy,
In order to predict his volume change you need to know the value of pi
And there's a metal train that's a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her,
How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor,
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a man chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees
And if Kim is half as old as bobby who is two years older then twelve year old tori,
For how many more 30 day months will their threesomes be considered statutory... rape

Because math can be sexy

Cause havin sex is like quadratic expansion if it can't be split then it's time to stop,
And havin sex is like doing fractions, it's improper for the larger one to be on top,
And havin sex is like math homework, I do it best when I'm alone in my bed.
And squarin numbers are just like women, if they're under thirteen just do them in your head...

It's new math