歌词：Vic Chesnutt. Maiden.

Dogs are barking, birds are chirping
The only thing better if I was squirting
But there's no one here to love on me today

For the maiden's on holiday
For the maiden's on holiday

I'm a sorry, sorry knight in a horrible castle
Hoping to avoid certain societal hassles
And I know what they say, but I ain't made of clay

For the maiden's on holiday
Yeah, the maiden's on holiday

I ain't nothing but chivalrous
Ain't never been nothing nasty between us
She knows where she stands on the heart of a broken man

She's gonna be bad no matter what
So I might as well go on ahead and act like a butt
Any ol' way, yeah, I'm still gonna pay

For the maiden's on holiday
Yeah, the maiden's on holiday