歌词：Chuck Prophet. Diamond Jim.

One for the trouble, two for the time

The neophyte lays down the law
And the choir boy plays five card draw
All the news that's fit to print
Rolls right off, don't make a dent

Diamond Jim, where you hiding?
Diamond Jim, where you hiding?
When Diamond Jim gets back
Diamond Jim will know just what to do

The mannequin takes off her clothes
And the clowns are laughing at your nose
The weatherman he is the news
And Dick Clark's got the tombstone blues

Right, Diamond Jim, where you hiding?
Diamond Jim, where you hiding?
When Diamond Jim gets back
Diamond Jim will know just what to do

Where you been so doggone long?
Diamond Jim, don't you shine me on

Your homeboy's under house arrest
It all feels too real to be a test
The open mikes are out of poems
And the pleasure's leaking from the domes

Alright, Diamond Jim, where you hiding?
Diamond Jim, where you hiding?
When Diamond Jim gets back
Diamond Jim will know just what to do

Oh yeah, Diamond Jim, where you hiding?
Diamond Jim, where you hiding?
When Diamond Jim gets back
Diamond Jim will know just what to do

Hey, hey, hey
Diamond Jim gets back
Diamond Jim will know just what to do