歌词：Decemberists. Picaresque. Sixteen Military Wives.

Sixteen military wives
Thirty-two softly-focused, brightly-colored eyes
Staring at the natural tan
Of thirty-two gently clenching wrinkled little hands

Seventeen company men
Out of which only twelve will make it back again
Sergeant sends a letter to five military wives
His tears drip down from ten little eyes

Cheer them on to their rivals 'cause America can
And America can't say 'No'
And America does if America says,"It's so, it's so"
And the anchorperson on TV goes
La-di-da-di-da

Fifteen celebrity minds
Leading their fifteen sordid, wretched checkered lives
Will they find their solution in time?
Using fifteen pristine moderate liberal minds

Eighteen academy chairs
Out of which only seven really even care
Doling out a garland to five
Celebrity minds, they're humbly taken by surprise

Cheer them on to their rivals 'cause America can
And America can't say 'No'
And America does if America says,"It's so, it's so"
And the anchorperson on TV goes
La-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da
La-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da

Fourteen cannibal kings
Wondering blithely what the dinner bell will bring
Fifteen celebrity minds
Served in a leafy bed of sixteen military wives

Cheer them on to their rivals 'cause America can
And America can't say 'No'
And America does if America says,"It's so, it's so"
And the anchorperson on TV goes
La-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da
La-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da

La-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da
La-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da
La-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da