歌词：Frank Zappa. Bwana Dik.

[includes a quote from Daddy, Daddy, Daddy which includes a quote from Tell Me You Love Me]

And if his dick is a monster
If his dick is a monster
If his dick is a monster
They will give him their hearts

Howard:
Hold it! Please hold it!
My God, Madge . . . you voluptuous New York City slit . . .
Why didn't you tell me before?
It was so hard to tell with your little blousey-poo on, but . . .
Now that I see you . . . I would have helped . . .
I didn't know you were so obviously . . . PREGNANT . . .

I've got the thing you need
I am endowed beyond your wildest
Clearasil-spattered fantasies
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah . . .

Girls from all over the world
Flock to write my name on the toilet walls
Of the Whisky A-Go-Go
For I am Bwana Dik
I am Bwana Dik
Me Bwana Dik
Yo! Me Bwana Dik
Say!

My dick is a monster
Give me your heart

Chorus:
Bwana Dik is a legend
Enormous thou art

Howard:
My dick is a Harley
You kick it to start

Chorus:
Bwana Dik speaks
The heavens will part

Howard:
My dick is a dagger
I'll force it to fit
My dick is a reamer, baby
To scream up your slit

Chorus:
Steam it!
Ream it!
Cream it!