歌词：Richard O'Brien. Other. Sweet Transvestite.

How do you do, I'm...
I see you've met my...
Faithful handy man.
He's just a little brought down, because
when you knocked
He thought you were the Candy Man!
Don't get strung up
by the way I look
don't judge a book by it's cover
I'm not much of a man
by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover

I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania.

Let me show you around
or maybe play you a sound
you both look like your pretty groovy.
If you want something visual
that's not too abysmal
we can take in an old Steve Reeves movie.

(spoken)
I'm glad we caught you at home
can we use your phone?
We're both in kind of a hurry
(right)
We'll just say where we are and then go back to the car
We don't want to be any worry.

Well you got caught with a flat?
Well how about that.
Well babies don't you panic
By the light of the night it'll all seem alright
I'll get you a Satanic Mechanic.

I'm just a Sweet Transvestite, from Transexual, Transylvania

(spoken)
So why don't you stay for the night? (night)
Or maybe a bite? (bite)
I can show you my favourite
obsession.
I've been making a man
with blonde hair and a tan
and he's good for relieving my tension.

I'm just a Sweet Transvestite, from Transexual Transylvania
(repeat)

(spoken)
So, come up to the lab
and see what's on the slab!
I see you shiver in anticipation.
But maybe the rain
Isn't really to blame
So I'll remove the cause
But not...
The symptom!!

(Thanks to Leah for these lyrics)