歌词：Barenaked Ladies. Barenaked for the Holidays. Elf's Lament.

I'm a man of reason and they say, "'Tis the season to be jolly"
But it's folly when you volley for position
Never in existence has there been such a resistance
To ideas meant to free us, if you could see us, then you'd listen
Toiling through the ages, making toys on garnished wages
There's no union, we're only through when we outdo the competition

I make toys but I've got aspirations
Make some noise, use your imagination
Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for
There's a list for who's been
Naughty or nice but consider the price to an elf

A full indentured servitude can reflect on one's attitude
But that silly red hat just makes the fat man look outrageous
Absurd though it may seem you know
I've heard there's even been illegal doping
And though we're coping, I just hope it's not contagious
You try to start a movement, and you think you see improvement
But when thrown into the moment, we just don't seem so courageous

I make toys but I've got aspirations
Make some noise, use your imagination
Girls and boys before you wish for what you wish for
There's a list for who's been
Naughty or nice but consider the price to an elf

You look at yourself you're an elf
And the shelf is just filled with disappointing memories
Trends come and go and your friends wanna know
Why you aren't just happy making crappy little gizmos
Every kid knows they'll just throw this stuff away

We're used to repetition, so we drew up a petition
We the undersigned feel undermined, let's redefine "Employment"
We know that we've got leverage, so we'll hand the fat man a beverage
And sit back while we attack the utter lack of our enjoyment
It may be tough to swallow, but our threats are far from hollow
He may thunder but if he blunders, he may wonder where the toys went

I make toys but I've got aspirations
Make some noise, use your imagination
Girls and boys, before you wish for what you wish for
There's a list for who's been, naughty or nice but consider the price
And naughty or nice but consider the price
Naughty or nice but consider the price to an elf