My chaos is the battlefield of mental war. the enemies: myself and everyone else. I feel drawn out, them to slaughter. disdain, the urge for undermination
Arrival at the wrong place, incidental manipulations, reasonless undeliberate deeds, torn connections, unused opportunities. the ways can't be ungone
...And sleep half the day when the drugs have gone away wake up and lazily fill the rest of the day just to recognize the pain and again end up with
Leaving one world to find myself in another one even worse surreal places in mental disease self-inflicted torture eerie inner sphere misanthropic rage
Lost all the way torn apart by demands restless my fight not to fall while probably I'm already down when substance controls my reality it's my hope
There is a shadow floating over me growing to a vast crimson cloud meanings are blurred calm and harm in disorder my eyes blinded for what is real noone
The dreams have gone wake up and start again all over and over return to the sorrow of life bear the grief tormenting you everytime again start a new
Calm in my mind, at last, only for some moments, admiring the elements raging around me the rain is heavy, turns the nocturnal world to hazy dark grey
